


==> Be the Salty One

by Heir of Hope (ColorsofaYinYang)



Series: HaikyuuStuck [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Homestuck Fusion, Dialogue Heavy, Humor, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 01:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15498903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorsofaYinYang/pseuds/Heir%20of%20Hope
Summary: You are now Tsukishima Kei. You'd like to say off the bat that you think this game is stupid. You will not list all the things you know because 1) you believe you understand much of what is going on and 2) there is just too much to list.You will settle for simply stating this:All of your coplayers are idiots.





	==> Be the Salty One

**Author's Note:**

> Colored text looks best on a white background! 
> 
> Recap: Hinata is in the Medium already after tier-1 prototyping his sprite with the DRAGON PAINTING. Kageyama is still trapped in his house waiting to connect. Tsukishima is loading up his game and establishing a connection with Kageyama. Yamaguchi and Yachi do not have discs yet.  
> Fetch modi and strife specibus: Hinata has the Volleyball fetch modus in which he has to spike the ball at the card, often causing the unintentional launching of objects, and uses Ballkind. Kageyama has the Target fetch modus where he has to hit a target with the item on it in order to release it from the card and uses Bowkind.
> 
> We'll get into Hinata's land soon! Just a couple more chapters of introductions!

Looks like the King has discovered the machines he dropped. Good. He made sure to place them all in the same room; unlike what the others think, he's not a TOTAL asshole. That will save them time, at least. He pushes his glasses up with one finger and glances coolly out the window.

It's an overcast summer day, which is unfortunate due to the way the atmosphere works. It is unbearably humid; the air is thick and stifling in his lungs. He notes the prescence of a bike in the driveway with indifference. His Brother is home. Whoop-de-doo. He'll probably end up fighting him eventually. Whatever, he always wins their little strifes anyway. 

There are four Sburb envelopes on his desk, three with discs inside and one empty one. One of the two server discs has already been installed on his laptop, so he half-heartedly crumples the empty envelope up and drops it into the recycling bin nearby. There's no need to throw paper into the trash, after all. Looks like Kageyama’s still working on figuring out the machines, so he spins his swivel chair slowly to relieve his boredom, looking over the rest of his room. 

There's a small stand with a neat collection of books on it, mostly nonfiction. He also has a shelf on the wall where he keeps his (modest) collection of dinosaur items. Unlike some of his classmates, he isn't overly passionate about his hobbies. On another wall hangs a couple of items; a map of various constellations, a music poster, and a recipe for strawberry shortcake that he hasn't quite gotten around to making yet. There's a plastic spear lying under his bed, a remnant from his childhood days fantasizing about dinosaur hunting. And of course, the most obvious thing: a decent sized cage in the corner with his homing pigeon inside. He's had pet birds since he was very little: his first bird was a one-winged crow his Brother had found on the street. He misses that bird... at least its stuffed body is in his closet somewhere. Now he has a pigeon who delivers messages, but it's just not the same. 

His laptop pings. 

AT: Hey i need a card  
AT: Like one with holes in it  
AT: U should be able to drop it  
TT: I'll check.  


He scrolls through the phernalia registry and drops the card into Kageyama's awaiting hands. This game is so simple, how in the world could anyone be tripped up by it? He doesn't get why these things have to be such a federal flippin' issue. He exhales and walks over to check out his collections. One particular book catches his eye, A Comprehensive Guide to the Night Sky, and he decides to take it in case he needs reading material later. As per his Dictionary fetch modus, he rattles off a description of the object. "A collection of pages sewn together and bound." His sylladex hesitates, not able to figure out which particular book he’s talking about. "Containing information regarding stars," he adds dryly. It snaps the book up. He also captchalogues a tyrannosaurus figurine from the shelf ("a plastic toy in the shape of an extinct reptilian predator"), just in case something happens. Knowing his coplayers, his whole house could be destroyed once he connects as a client. He should keep this innocent, fragile dinosaur safe in his sylladex. But wait... 

Is that... a dragon? 

What the hell. Did his Brother sneak this into his collection as a joke? Dragons are NOT real, and they are disgustingly overrated. The way they breathe fire and have large, biologically useless wings... ugh. Dinosaurs are so much more practical, and elegant. He is going to have WORDS with his brother. Serious words. Organized words. He stands up and strides over to the door. He'll advise Kageyama later. 

The hallway is littered with baseball cards, and his Brother's briefcase is propped up against one wall. For some reason his Brother loves baseball... how lame. To show so much interest in one thing will be his downfall. He steps away from the distasteful mess and pokes his head around the corner. Maybe he should have taken his lame spear just for something to put in his strife deck... 

...nah. His strifes with his brother have always been more mental than physical. He musters his most withering glare and ventures out into the living room, where his Brother is reading on the couch. It doesn't seem to intimidate him. His Brother has always been immune to his scare tactics. 

STRIFE! 

Kei gives him a scornful frown as his Brother turns to look at him. The Oblivity Aegis absorbs most of the impact. 

"Kei? What's wrong?" His Brother asks. He carefully places a bookmark to mark his page and turns to give Kei his full attention. 

“I have a claim,” Kei says shortly. 

The other sighs. "Can we talk like normal people for once? Instead of this debating stuff?” 

Kei rolls his eyes. "You put a dragon statue in my dinosaur collection." 

His Brother blinks. "Um... I don't remember doing that." 

“The evidence doesn’t lie. There was NOT a dragon there earlier, and now there is. And I definitely didn’t put it there.” 

It looks like he has no clue what Kei's talking about. And his Brother is a terrible liar, so the statue must have come from somewhere else. His Brother has no rebuttal, so Kei gives a shrug of indifference and lets him be. Yet another victory for him. 

He retreats back to his room, shutting the door securely behind him. Looks like the group chat has blown up without him. Great. 

AT: Can anyone get in touch with goddamned tsukishima  
TG: whats wrong?  
TG: are u on fire yet?  
AT: Dont sound so hopeful dumbass  
AT: I just prototyped my dumb blue sprite with a mouse statue  
AT: And now i cant find it because it ran off  
TC: do you have any cheese? ~  
TC: maybe you can lure it out! ~  
AT: Maybe  
AT: Or i could get my absent server player to find it for me  
AT: Because im working on getting the HELL out of here  


\-- tauntinglyTall [TT] has entered "Help us u asshole" -- 

TT: I'll find it later. How much progress have you made?  
TT: Also, please change the chat name. It's getting old.  
AT: Oh now he shows up  
AT: Ive almost got the item made  


\-- tinyGiant [TG] renamed the chat "Volleybros" -- 

TC: What about Yachi? ~  


\-- tinyGiant [TG] renamed the chat "Volleybros and gals" -- 

AT: Can we not do this while my life is on the life  
TT: Speaking of her, it looks like she hasn't been online in a while.  
TG: she said she was going to fight her mom for the discs!  
TC: Oh! Tsukki! ~  
TC: Hinata told me you have extra copies of the game, is that right? ~  
TT: Yes.  
TC: (^o^) Well, from what everyone's been saying it sounds kinda fun! So I was wondering if maybe you would let me borrow your extra copies? I'll give them back I promise! ~  
TT: I suppose so. I'll send my pigeon over with them. I assume you'll be my server player then?  
TC: (-*.*-) um... if you're okay with that! ~  
TT: Well, I wouldn't trust these idiots with anything in my house.  
TT: So I suppose you'll do.  
TC: yay!! thanks Tsukki! ~  
TT: ...Shut up Yamaguchi.   


Yamaguchi can be such a nerd sometimes. He's a naive nerd... and Tsukishima will never admit to finding that adorable. Ever. He unlocks the cage in the corner and attaches a small pouch to his pigeon. He then slips two of the disc envelopes into it and opens the window, sending the pigeon flying off into the stifling summer air. Yamaguchi's house isn't too far away, so it shouldn't take too long for him to get it. In the meantime, he captchalogues his old shitty spear from the ground ("a pointy plastic piece of shit") and puts it in his strife deck. It can never hurt to be too prepared. 

On his laptop screen, Kageyama is placing his blue totem on the circular pad of one of the machines. The Alchemiter, if he remembers correctly. A blue water bottle materializes and lands on the floor. Tsukishima can see the fires raging on the other side of the window. They're close. Kageyama picks up the water bottle, and the whole screen goes dark. 

TT: What happened.  
TT: Are you alright? I can't see you.  
TT: The whole screen is black.  
AT: Im alright  
AT: Its pitch black for me too  
AT: Why, were u worried about me?  
TT: Whether you live or die doesn't matter to me,  
TT: But I'd prefer not to be hassled by the shrimp for the rest of my life.  
TG: hey what does that mean?!  
AT: Do u like him or something??  


Tsukishima performs a facepalm x2 combo. Could these idiots be any more oblivious? 

TT: I strongly dislike both of you.  
TT: Kageyama, I suggest you find a light source soon, otherwise you may run into difficulties.  
AT: Im working with my laptop light rn  
AT: But yeah Ill do that  


\-- adamantTosser [AT] has exited "Volleybros and gals" -- 

TC: (^u^) Hinata, I think he means you care about Kageyama! ~  
TC: or at least, more than he does. ~  
TT: Yamaguchi. Just,  
TT: Please,  
TT: Shut up.  
TC: sorry Tsukki! ~  


He peers back into the hallway. His Brother is no longer on the couch. Good, that means he can make his way upstairs (where there is more room) without being suspicious. Before he goes he captchalogues his phone in order to stay in contact with the others ("portable electronic communication device"). He then sneaks out and makes his way up the stairs cautiously. He hasn't necessarily been warned about stairs, but they have always been dangerous and logically it is a good decision to be careful around them. 

Unfortunately, it looks like his Brother has beaten him to it. He's standing looking out the window, and if this was an anime a bead of sweat would be rolling down his temple. "Kei," he calls, voice wavering. "Come look at this." Reluctantly, he goes to peer outside. 

A flurry of bright yellow and red streaks illuminates the sky through a break in the clouds. "There wasn't a meteor shower in the forecasts, right?" His Brother asks. Kei narrows his eyes and shakes his head no. His phone vibrates in his pocket. 

TC: Tsukki! I got the discs, where are you? ~  
TT: I'm not running the client disc yet. I'll be there soon.  


"Stay inside," he tells his Brother. "I have something important I need to do." 

His Brother puts a hand on his shoulder as he passes. "Kei." 

Kei spares a glance back. 

"Be safe." 

\-- trueCompanion [TC] began pestering tauntinglyTall [TT] at 18:40 -- 

TC: Tsukki? ~  
TC: why is there a dead bird in your closet? ~  
TT: He was my first pet.  
TT: Are you snooping around my stuff?  
TC: no! it's just...  
TC: do you ever wish he was alive again? ~  
TT: What are you getting at?  
TC: I just have this strange feeling that if we drop him in the "kernelsprite" he might come back to life! ~  
TC: he'll be a sprite but...  
TC: maybe if we use something that was close to you instead of random stuff like Kageyama and Hinata, it won't run away! ~  
TT: That's... surprisingly insightful.  
TT: If you think it'll work, then go ahead.  
TC: ok! ~  


But this guy is getting kind of boring. Let's hop on over to the other guy.


End file.
